The lie of meeting or exceeding expectations set by others is so damaging to the soul.

But without love, I would not have been able to feel the pain that had numbed me.  Without love, I would not have been able to see the lie that had pierced me.  Without love, healing could not have commenced.  Now abide faith, hope, and love...but the greatest of these is LOVE (1 Cor 13:13).  

I have been tacitly told that in order to be loved, accepted, and worthy of encouragement in the family of God, I had to behave a certain way.  I had to be exceedingly outgoing, unreserved, hop like a kangaroo, have a marsupial pouch, cry on cue, be available 24/7, never be down or depressed, take loveless criticism as an honor and privilege, change or work on my 'deficiencies' when compared to other believers, accept to be treated as a 'second-tier' child of God for not behaving a certain way....and on, and on it goes.  Expectations I did not meet or did not exceed.  But then, God happened.

Spending over six weeks and a concentrated weekend serving others with a group of beautiful and loving ladies and gents, all who loved UNCONDITIONALLY, who did not expect me or others to hop like a kangaroo - rather, just expected for God to work in and thru me - was such a soothing balm to my hurting soul.  And I didn't even know I was hurting.  Notice, the expectation was not for me to do something, but for GOD to do the work (can you hear the sound of impossible burdens roll down and hit the floor...and shattering?).

It took LOVE to allow me to identify the lies that had settled deep down within my heart.  It took LOVE to allow me to feel the pain caused by the lies.  It took LOVE for me to let the tears roll down my face, and not feel guilty for it.

I don't have to be anything God has not created me to be.  I do not have to be anything God is not expecting of me.  The only thing I have to be is an empty vessel, that way He can fill me with Himself.  The only thing I have to do is obey Him, that way He can work in and thru me. 

Oh how sweet the taste of FREEDOM.  And how liberating the weight of TRUTH.    

Praise the Lord for creating a group of ladies and gents who reminded me what UNCONDITIONAL LOVE truly is!!

Again, LOVE truly is the greatest of the three.  Praise the Lord Jesus showed us what LOVE truly is, and for creating brethren who are vessels of His love for, not just the lost, but also for the followers of Jesus who are also hurting.

Praise the Lord for not expecting us to be something we are not.  Praise the Lord for giving us the easy yoke, the light burden: faithfulness, obedience.  We only need to obey Him, and Him alone.  Not others, or even ourselves - especially ourselves.

May His lovingkindness be perceived by your heart today!

This next song, Just Be by Lindsay Taylor, has been such a great ministering song, that I wanted to share it with you in hopes your eyes are reinforced to be fixed on Jesus - the Author and Finisher of our faith.

P.S.  I have no idea who Amanda Boutchía is; I just found this nice youtube video with the song set to a beautiful background.  So, just FYI.  :)

Are you striving to meet a certain expectation?  How does it make you feel when you can never exceed it, let alone meet it?

We are surrounded by a world that, manipulated by the enemy and our own sinful desires, bombards us with the message that we have to meet a certain expectation, fit into a certain mold.

And while detecting this lie might seem challenging when speaking of our physical appearance, it is an entirely different ballgame when we try to detect the lie as it pertains to our being.  What am I talking about?  I'm talking about our personalities, our walk with the Lord, our maturity and understanding of the Way, and the steps we take in following after Jesus.

I've been living in this lie for quite a while.  Here's the sad part: I didn't even know I believed those lies.

It has taken me years to actually detect the pain I was in, to acknowledge the pain (because even after detecting it, I still denied the pain in my soul), and to realize that those expectations are not right.  THEY ARE NOT RIGHT.

Oh, how painful it is to try to act like a kangaroo when I've been a dolphin all along!  How can I hop like a kangaroo and carry 'my young' ones with me, when I don't even have legs or a marsupial pouch?

But I realized that what pained me the most, what took me into numbness, was that these expectations were set by fellow believers. strong believers.

If we speak in tongues, angelic and human, and don't have love - we are nothing.  If we speak truth, and speak without love - it's like rubbing a towel of glass shards over raw skin.  If we speak lies, and and do so kindly - the piercings that are made will go so deep into a person's soul, it will settle down where truth was to abide.

In a loving way, I was told lies that settled down deep in my soul.  And while there is much pain associated with it, I thank the Lord that He has made me aware of this so that I don't do the same thing to others; but, most importantly, to ask for forgiveness of those to whom I have already wounded in similar fashion.  

I must be careful with what I say to other believers; I do not want to perpetuate a lie or introduce one to their souls.  How do I prevent this?  Hiding His word in my heart, being filled with the Spirit of Love, obeying His command to love others as myself.  All this so that I may be used as an instrument to build up the Church, not tear it down; to elevate my brethren, not weigh them down with impossible burdens; to Shine like the Son, not dim or overcast fellow believer's Light.

So what specific lies about my personality and walk with God am I referring to?   Part 2 will detail the darkness behind the lies.

Meantime, I pray the Lord allows us to detect the lie of 'having to meet or exceed' someone's expectations and moves us to healing, so that we may be able to minister to others who are still trying to reach the end of the race but are racing inside a hamster ball.