The Lord has taken me to places I never wanted to go and has rescued me from places I never wanted to leave.  How merciful is He that He does not give me what I want and gives me what I need.  Truly, there is none like Him. 

When I have reached the point where I give up and there is no more life left in me to continue, He is my rescuer - He is my deliverer. 

This song has lifted my head so that I see the throne where Christ is and has turned my heart to worshiping the Living God.  I pray it sings to you.

You Deliver Me by Selah.

This is such a soothing song - it never ceases to encourage me, disperse my fears, and to lift my head up to Jesus that I may gaze into His eyes.

I thought I would share.

Song: Shadow of Your Hand by Eden's Bridge.

Constantly, I fall into the trap that I have to be strong in order to endure.  This is a lie.  In order for me to endure I must be weak, for it is His Spirit that is strong. 

I have often felt guilty that as a Christian, I am weak, I have weak moments, and I am needy.  I feel guilty because I think that all Christians have it all together and all Christians, who are walking with the Lord, are strong and are not poor or needy.  Therefore, only those that do not walk with the Lord are weak and poor.  Translation: I am not walking with the Lord because I am poor and needy.

However, this is not true for David, it is not true for Job, and it is not true for me.  Was Job in the wrong when he wanted the Lord Himself to come and comfort him?  Was he wrong to feel pain, be poor (depressed, in despair) and needy?  Was David wrong for crying out to the Lord when he was in despair, poor and needy?  Am I wrong, as a Christian, to be poor and needy? 

My Father has told me that He likes it when I cry out to Him.  He likes for me to ask Him to rescue me.  He likes for me to be stubborn and refuse to be comforted by any one except Him.  He likes it when I am poor and needy, because when I am poor (in spirit), I seek His riches (Him); when I am needy (empty and lacking in spirit), I reach out for His mercy.  That is exactly what Christ came for, to comfort those who mourn, to bring beauty from ashes, to give oil of joy for mourning (Isaiah 61).  David's words (Psalm 86) testify of this (I've added emphasis in bold, italics and underline):

 1 Bow down Your ear, O LORD, hear me;
         For Iam poor and needy.
 2 Preserve my life, for I am holy;
         You are my God;
         Save Your servant who trusts in You!
 3 Be merciful to me, O Lord,
         For I cry to You all day long.
 4 Rejoice the soul of Your servant,
         For to You, O Lord, I lift up my soul.
 5 For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive,
         And abundant in mercy to all those who call upon You.
         
 6 Give ear, O LORD, to my prayer;
         And attend to the voice of my supplications.
 7 In the day of my trouble I will call upon You,
         For You will answer me.
         
 8 Among the gods there is none like You, O Lord;
         Nor are there any works like Your works.
 9 All nations whom You have made
         Shall come and worship before You, O Lord,
         And shall glorify Your name.
 10 For You are great, and do wondrous things;
         You alone are God.
         
 11 Teach me Your way, O LORD;
         I will walk in Your truth;
         Unite my heart to fear Your name.
 12 I will praise You, O Lord my God, with all my heart,
         And I will glorify Your name forevermore.
 13 For great is Your mercy toward me,
         And You have delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol.
         
 14 O God, the proud have risen against me,
         And a mob of violent men have sought my life,
         And have not set You before them.
 15 But You, O Lord, are a God full of compassion, and gracious,
         Longsuffering and abundant in mercy and truth.
         
 16 Oh, turn to me, and have mercy on me!
         Give Your strength to Your servant,
         And save the son of Your maidservant.
 17 Show me a sign for good,
         That those who hate me may see it and be ashamed,
         Because You, LORD, have helped me and comforted me.


Who else is there like the Lord?  There is none like Him, and only He can deal with my poverty and my neediness.  It is in my weakness that He shines the most. 

He is emptying this vessel so that I can pour my life into others.  Discipling others to disciple others is my goal, for it is the marching orders the Lord gave me before ascending into Heaven (Matthew 28: 19-20).  I have to understand that through my weakness, my poverty, my neediness, His Spirit will work in the lives of others that they too may be able to disciple others.  So in my weakness I will call upon Him that He may work in me, and by the power of the Spirit, pour my life into others' lives that they too may learn to pour themselves into others (2 Timothy 2:2).

Lord, change my heart, for it is better to let you shine through my brokenness than to becloud your Spirit through my strength.

Note:
Michael Card wrote a song for the album "Soul Anchor" titled 'Never Will I Leave You'.  This song kept playing in my head when I was calling out to my Father from my place of poverty and neediness.  I like the question interjected in the song by the Lord 'Am I not enough for you?'.  It reminded me that He is enough, the All Sufficient One - El Shaddai.  I searched youtube for videos made with the song and found the one I uploaded after this posting.  Interestingly, the video is set to the theme of orphans and adoptions - how appropriate.  I was an orphan in need, in poverty, and He did not leave me.  I pray it blesses you and reminds you of the many orphans surrounding us.

The Lord has revealed Himself and His character in Scripture through different names. Adonai, Elohim, Jehovah Jireh are some of these - and all His names describe who He is.

At the beginning of this month, I came to the realization that I didn't know the different names of God.  I knew some and what they meant; however, I knew that He had more names and I didn't know their meanings.  At that moment, I spoke with Him and said: "Lord, I want to know your different names."  In a way, it seemed as if I was repeating Peter's words when he was in the mount of transfiguration, for what I was thinking was "it is profitable for me to be here...it is profitable for me to know Your names."  Then the Holy Spirit revealed to me that head-knowledge was not what I should ask for, so I spoke to the Lord again and said to Him what the Spirit had put in my heart: "Lord, I don't want to know your different names, I want to know You BY Your different names.  I want to experience each of these names."  Be careful what you pray for in faith, because the Lord answers prayer.....

I didn't understand the deepness of the Love of God to believe that He would answer this prayer so quickly.  Immediately, after I spoke to Him these words, the worship team of a retreat in which I was taught me a song about His different names.  I was in awe of who He is; I thanked the Lord for answering my prayer.  But oh, girl of little faith!  I believed that had been it; I did not believe the Lord would answer this prayer thoroughly.

Days after that prayer, I continued to walk as I had been walking before.  BUT He had better plans.  You see, He couldn't let me continue walking with wounds that had not healed - some were and are still bleeding.  It was and is a difficult place in which to be, to acknowledge painful wounds, but He is Jehovah Rapha, the Lord Who Heals.  I came to experience Him and know Him as, not the Healer, but My Healer.  He continues to heal me.

I continued walking with Jehovah Rapha, Him healing my soul; me feeling the pain that accompanies wounds that are healing; and believing that, although He was healing me, I was invisible.  BUT He could not let me continue walking without telling me that He sees me.  He then revealed Himself to me as El Roi, the God who sees.  Not only was He tending my soul and wounds, He actually sees me, I exist in Him, and I am not invisible to Him.  Like Hagar, I came to experience Him as the One who sees me.

I have continued in this walk, and He has chosen to reveal Himself to me next as El Shaddai, the All Sufficient One.  I continue to know Him as El Shaddai and am processing this encounter.  A part 2 to this post will come in the future because the Lord is answering my prayer thoroughly. 

I pray this encourages you or pushes you to ask Him to reveal Himself to you in each of His attributes - He will answer the prayer, He is answering mine.

This is a great song which reminds me about where my Lord is in relation to me.  I pray it blesses you.

This song is by Tenth Avenue North, titled Times; I found this slide show someone posted on youtube.