“Woe is me, for I am undone!
Because I am a man of unclean lips,
And I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips;
For my eyes have seen the King, The Lord of hosts.”
Sometimes we don't see how unclean we are until the Light of the Lord shines brightly on us. Then we see our wicked heart - and even what we see is just the tip of the iceberg of our wickedness. The tip of the iceberg of my wickedness.
How many times do we sin and, though we are convicted of sin and repent of it, we don't see the depth and magnitude of our sin? Not just seeing the consequences, but seeing how sinful our sin is?
This is just like what I experienced with icing. I really like icing, buttercream icing to be specific. Whenever I would eat cake, I would make sure that I would get a good portion of icing - and while I did know that icing was not good for my health, I did not realize to what extent. Then one day there was a cupcake contest in which I wanted to participate; I had baked cakes before, but not cupcakes. But more importantly, I had not made icing to decorate the cakes. When I looked up the recipe for icing, I went into a sort of shock. I just couldn't believe it. I had no idea that icing is butter and sugar. I was so shocked! I just thought, eating icing is like eating a stick of butter with sugar. Wow!! Heart attacks and diabetes! I wish this would have been enough to keep me away from icing for good. And while I have not eliminated icing completely, when I do eat cake, I try to not eat the corners of cakes or portions that are heavily decorated.
Sin is as deeply clogging as the butter and insidious and numbing like the sugar. Sweet poison.
This is exactly what has happened to me. I sin and I repent of my sin. But just recently, my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of Hosts, and I have not only seen my sin, but have seen how deep, insidious, and numbing sin is, and how Holy, Holy, HOLY God is. Woe is me. Woe is me.
I am undone. All I can say is that, like the movie Amazing Grace states, I am a great sinner and Christ is a great savior.
Thank you, Lord Jesus, for taking the beatings for me. For taking the torture for me. For taking the abuse for me. And with tears in my eyes and weeping in my heart, thank you for receiving the wrath of Your Father that was meant for me. To you alone be any and all glory! There is none like you. None.
Song: We will run by Gunger (again, I didn't put this together - just linking).