My Lord has taught me, but most importantly, lovingly showed me that He was giving me love and I was rejecting it while in utter need of it. I didn't realize I was doing just that - rejecting the love of the Lover of my soul.
He has opened my eyes to this condition: I believed lies that I was unworthy of love. Whenever love was offered, I would reject it because I was not worthy of it; I was starving for love. How clever of the enemy to place a child of God in a catch 22.
I praise my Lord, my Saviour, for having compassion of me and touching my wounds that He may heal them. He whispered this to me:
"Trust in Me at all times, my beautiful daughter; pour out your heart before Me; I am a refuge for you. Selah" Psalm 62:8
So I did just that; I poured out my heart to Him and He hid me under His wings. Trusting Him with those 'good' things is easy, trusting Him with my wounds was and is hard. Yet, He was gentle to love me through it all and comfort me. Truly, He is my Shepherd, leading me beside the still waters and restoring my soul.
I pray I allow Him to empty my heart that He may fill it with His love; then, I can pour His love into others.