Finally the second part is ready for sharing! In the first part I recapped how the Lord had been revealing Himself to me, and how most recently He had come to me as El Shaddai. I continue to process the encounter - as I continue to do so with Jehova Raphe and El Roi.
When I set out to walk in life, I chose paths that would in some way fill needs that I didn't know I had or satisfy desires that I didn't know I felt. These choices were molded and shaped by circumstances and words that would come to define who I was...yes, who I was, for I am not the person who I thought I was (more on this later).
Those circumstances and words were not tender, were not beautiful, were not uplifting. Instead they were rough, ugly, and oppressive. Though I was free from my self and my sin through Jesus, I lived in chains; I was and am bound by invisible chains. The Lord opened my eyes, and I have been able to see some of the chains around my neck. This has allowed me to feel the hurt I hadn't felt from the moment I was born - and it also let me feel needs and desires that had not been filled and satisfied. It allowed me to see that my heart was with holes and torn by a particular chain...the name of the chain: REJECTION.
It felt as if I was walking around with third degree burns, anything that brushed against my skin would cause unspeakable pain. Rejection had shaped how I viewed myself and how I denied myself to feel my needs or desires - all because of the pain caused by rejection. I realized I was DESPERATE to have my needs met and my desires satisfied. But how?
I was desolate, broken, pulverized. This overwhelming state of being took me to genuine despair and into His arms. With tears and despair I cried out to Him, asking Him why was He not enough for me?! Why? Then He whispered in my ear: El Shaddai, the all sufficient One. Only He could and would fill my needs and satisfy my desires. Nothing or no one else would or could do this for me. Though I was torn, He would make me whole. Though I found myself mourning, He would give me joy. Isaiah 61 became real to me...Christ walked out of the pages of Scripture before my very eyes and El Shaddai stood before me.
Christ came to:
2 To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD,
And the day of vengeance of our God;
To comfort all who mourn,
3 To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.”
4 And they shall rebuild the old ruins,
They shall raise up the former desolations,
And they shall repair the ruined cities,
The desolations of many generations.
Isaiah 61:2-4
I learned first hand that He alone could bring me oil of joy in exchange for my mourning, that my ruined cities would be rebuilt and repaired. I would not be left broken and incomplete. He would repair my heart and make it whole.
El Shaddai alone can do this because no one has access to my heart, not even myself. He is the ALL SUFFICIENT ONE - no one else will suffice. His tender mercies and loving kindness will and are making my heart whole; out of ashes He will bring beauty. He is El Shaddai.
When I set out to walk in life, I chose paths that would in some way fill needs that I didn't know I had or satisfy desires that I didn't know I felt. These choices were molded and shaped by circumstances and words that would come to define who I was...yes, who I was, for I am not the person who I thought I was (more on this later).
Those circumstances and words were not tender, were not beautiful, were not uplifting. Instead they were rough, ugly, and oppressive. Though I was free from my self and my sin through Jesus, I lived in chains; I was and am bound by invisible chains. The Lord opened my eyes, and I have been able to see some of the chains around my neck. This has allowed me to feel the hurt I hadn't felt from the moment I was born - and it also let me feel needs and desires that had not been filled and satisfied. It allowed me to see that my heart was with holes and torn by a particular chain...the name of the chain: REJECTION.
It felt as if I was walking around with third degree burns, anything that brushed against my skin would cause unspeakable pain. Rejection had shaped how I viewed myself and how I denied myself to feel my needs or desires - all because of the pain caused by rejection. I realized I was DESPERATE to have my needs met and my desires satisfied. But how?
I was desolate, broken, pulverized. This overwhelming state of being took me to genuine despair and into His arms. With tears and despair I cried out to Him, asking Him why was He not enough for me?! Why? Then He whispered in my ear: El Shaddai, the all sufficient One. Only He could and would fill my needs and satisfy my desires. Nothing or no one else would or could do this for me. Though I was torn, He would make me whole. Though I found myself mourning, He would give me joy. Isaiah 61 became real to me...Christ walked out of the pages of Scripture before my very eyes and El Shaddai stood before me.
Christ came to:
2 To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD,
And the day of vengeance of our God;
To comfort all who mourn,
3 To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.”
4 And they shall rebuild the old ruins,
They shall raise up the former desolations,
And they shall repair the ruined cities,
The desolations of many generations.
Isaiah 61:2-4
I learned first hand that He alone could bring me oil of joy in exchange for my mourning, that my ruined cities would be rebuilt and repaired. I would not be left broken and incomplete. He would repair my heart and make it whole.
El Shaddai alone can do this because no one has access to my heart, not even myself. He is the ALL SUFFICIENT ONE - no one else will suffice. His tender mercies and loving kindness will and are making my heart whole; out of ashes He will bring beauty. He is El Shaddai.
RSS Feed
