Recently, I was battling with living.  Battling with the reality in which our world finds itself.  Battling with the unbridled hate that permeates every corner of this earth.  Battling with such overwhelming evil we are witnessing.  Completely hopeless.

We are all dying.  Some are dying faster.  Some are dying sooner.  Some are agonizing.  What is the point of living?

Strange how these thoughts enter the mind of a follower of Jesus.  I am just being real.  It's overwhelming to live sometimes.  Some much evil.  So much hate.  So much suffering.  So much....

In this state of confusion, I asked for the Lord.  In this state of heaviness, I sought the Lord.  In this state of hopelessness, I knocked on heaven's doors.  Then, just like Jesus said would happen, my asking was answered, my seeking yielded a treasure, my knocking led to doors being opened.  

I sought Jesus, for a word to rescue me out of these waters, and He answered by repeating what He had said 2,000 years ago: Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand.  And in an instant, my quivering soul was grounded.  The events that were taking place during Jesus' ministry were not a bouquet of roses.  There were injustices. There was suffering.  There was abuse of power.  There was murder.  There was theft.  There were heresies.  There was blasphemy.  Yet He remained focused: Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand.  

Life had become overwhelming because my focus had shifted.  I was trying to keep the Titanic from sinking (this world) by rearranging the chairs on the deck.  Jesus reminded me that the Titanic is going down, the focus needs to be on getting people to the life boats and not rearrange the chairs or try to repair the hole.  I cannot stop wars.  I cannot give wisdom to leaders.  I cannot make people reason and calm down.  I cannot stop suffering.  But the one job that I can do is to lead people to the life boats, and, as it turns out, that's the one job that I was given to do on this sinking ship.  

Slowly that heavy cloud that was suffocating me was lifted from me.  Then, my eyes started to see clearer.  Jesus gave me that job because He is coming back.  To use the Titanic analogy, He is coming back with the Carpathia to pick up all those who got on the life boats.  And that portion, Him coming back to pick us up, lifted me to such heights, that I was able to breathe deeply once again.  

Jesus promised He was coming back for us.  I have grown so complacent in expecting His return, that I forgot what a life-sustaining promise it is that He is coming back for us.  This world is not the purpose for my existence.  My purpose for existing is Him.  I exist for Him and in Him, and because of that, I need to continually be looking for His return.  Praise the Lord of Heaven!  Praise the Creator of all!!  

Jesus is coming back - there is no other promise that can put our lives back into perspective.  Jesus is coming back - there is no other in whom we can truly hope.  Jesus is coming back - there is no other in whom we can expect to receive the fulfilled hope of His return.  

O blessed is the day that He returns for His saints!  Blessed is the day when our Messiah will set ALL things RIGHT!  Jesus is coming back, and that is the hope that powers us to guide people to the life boats instead of becoming hysterical and trying to rearrange the chairs on a sinking ship.

May we fix our eyes on Him and His return for us.  May we never tire of expecting His return.

Maranatha!!!

I read often that God is Light, that He is in the light, and that where He is, darkness cannot abide.  So when I came across verse 21 in Exodus 20, my attention was completely lost.  I had to stop right there and just think about what the text said.

The children of Israel were terrified of God, they asked Moses to talk to God for them instead, otherwise they would perish.  God had just delivered what we commonly refer to as the 10 commandments (there were many more, but that's a post for another day).  As He spoke, all they heard and saw was thunder, a trumpet, lightning, and a mountain in smoke.  What a mighty sight to behold.  Moses would have to mediate, speak for them before God.  Then verse 21 happens.  Moses approaches the darkness where God was.  That picture did not compute with my feeble mind.  How is God in darkness?  Perhaps to protect everyone from dying immediately if the saw Him?  Is He not light?  He did speak to Moses from a burning bush, meaning fire, meaning light.  Where was darkness in all this?

Don't have any answers for you.  But what I do have is something the Lord whispered to me as my brain was having a seizure from thinking all of this.  Moses had to approach the darkness where He was.   Right.  So, raise your hand if you like to take a stroll in darkness, towards the sound of thunder, where lightning is striking, and where there is no other source of light around, oh, and there is tons of smoke.  Anyone?  Well, I would probably be crying like a 7 year old if you asked me to do that.  Who knows, maybe I'd get to see - scratch that, it would be too dark to see - experience my first and last tornado.  

Again, Moses had to approach the darkness where God was.  That is what God whispered to me.  Sometimes I think that when things are dark, when trials are grim, when pain is overwhelming, then God is not there.  That it is all an attack from the one who desires our destruction and, therefore, I must hang on until the trial is over so that I can come out victorious on the other side.  But what if, in my desire to approach God, I must also approach darkness?  I must confess, this causes my heart to accelerate and I sort of start hyperventilating.  Going, willingly, toward darkness (pain, suffering, darkness, uncertainty) is not my idea of seeking God, of seeking His face, His presence.  Maybe I've been playing the part of the children of Israel very well: Sending someone else into the darkness to talk to God for me.  But then, if I want to get to God Himself for myself, I must walk toward darkness, where God is, instead of running away from anything that could potentially bring discomfort.  

The truth is, I need to stop seeing life through the glasses of pain or pleasure (anything that makes us happy and that does not cause pain or discomfort).  Walking, following after Jesus, is both: Light and darkness, highs and lows, pain and pleasure.  Not sure where I got the idea that one of our more important goals in life is to avoid discomfort.  If I keep avoiding darkness, then I won't see God when He is in darkness.   Approaching darkness takes an enormous amount of faith I don't have, but I know the One who builds my faith and who strengthens our faith.  I will trust that He will build me so that I, too, can be like Moses and approach the darkness where God is, where He is.

How many times have I read and heard about how Peter, James, John, and the rest of Jesus' disciples left everything to follow Him, and I've nodded in agreement - whether in my heart or physically?  Too many to be able to count.  In my mind, I say I would do the same; this is Jesus whom we are talking about!  When He says follow Me, it is not an invitation - it is a command.  However, the more I live on this earth the more I learn that I don't know anything - especially my own heart.  

The disciples remind me of fitness instructors.  For instance, they do a plank with one hand raised and opening the hip as they turn and stay in that position for 30 seconds with such ease and (seemingly) without much effort, I think: Oh, I can do that.  No problem.  Then, unsurprisingly, as I attempt to replicate the move, not only do I fail miserably (meaning I look more like a dog trying to bend and flex like a cat) but it sends my heart rate through the roof as I have to put all my effort (plus the effort I don't have) to complete the routine.  They always make it look sooooooo easy.  Well, I've discovered that the disciples made it look easy to simply leave everything to follow Him.  

I find myself convicted by witnessing other people leave everything to follow Him; I reach down unto my heart and find that I can't do that.  And that is heartbreaking.  I'm gutted.  

Enter Michael Card with a perfectly timed song on my playlist: Stranger on the Shore.  I have now gained new ears to hear that song.  The whole song pierced me and allowed me to shed tears of mourning.  Mourning the fact that I cannot replicate what the disciples did.  Look at the chorus:

Stranger on the Shore, Michael Card
You need to be confronted
By the Stranger on the shore
You need to have Him search your soul
You need to hear the call
You need to learn exactly
What it means for you to follow
You need to realize that He's asking for it all

Strangely enough, the truth that pierced me is the one that is lifting me up. I need to be confronted by the Stranger on the shore because I have so much arrogance and many hidden rooms of deceit (towards myself).  I need to have Him search my soul, because somewhere in there is the person He created me to be.  I need to hear His call and know EXACTLY what it means to follow Him; He is not asking for my good thoughts, good intentions, or good actions, all of that is easy to give to Him.  He is asking for it all, for all of me.  This means giving Him ALL whom I hold dear and near to my heart.  Giving Him my security.  Giving Him my fears.  Giving Him everything until there is nothing left.  "Only the slave who leaves it all is truly free", Michael Card (A Fragile Stone).  That is my hope: that He will take me to that place where I can leave it all.

I encourage you to buy those two songs by Michael Card, Stranger on the Shore and A Fragile Stone.  Interestingly, they are both on the life of Peter.

May we all be confronted by the Stranger on the Shore and partake of supper with Him, as He searches our souls.

Many times I am left in wonder as to why is it easier to believe something that is intangible than something that is tangible or semi tangible.  At least this is the case with me.

Let me explain.  

I find that it is easier to believe that Jesus died on the cross for my sins, rose on the third day, ascended into heaven and will be coming back to establish His kingdom.  I find it easier to believe that the work He did on the cross, in the grave and rising from the dead paid for my sins and gave me the power to be now called a daughter of God.  Why, then, is it hard to trust Him, to have faith that He works everything for good and His glory, when it comes to those I love?  Why is it that I have to try to do something, try to uncover some hidden meaning in His words, or just try to 'help' Him when it comes to my loved ones?

Last week I had to make a most excruciating decision: End the life of a most beloved friend.  A faithful friend.  One who loved me even when I was not loveable.  One who was always happy to see me, even if it had been a mere 5 minutes from the last time he had seen me.  Always wagging his tail.  Following me everywhere.  And it was this beautiful friend whose life I had to end.  The cancer had taken over his mandible, bleeding, not letting him enjoy what he enjoyed the most: food.  He would starve to death.  And all this time, with pain and all, he would bark to protect those he loved when someone came to the door.  As if this whole scene was not painful already, I struggled to believe what would happen to him when he left this dimension.  

He clearly wasn't a doll or a teddy bear; he had personality.  He was affectionate.  He could be happy.  He could be sad.  He preferred company.  What would happen to him when he breathed his last?  Why was it hard for me to trust a good God with his life?  Why could I not trust that He had my friend's life in His hands, just like He does everyone else's?  

There is so much more to say, but I will not make this post longer.

I had come to a fork on the road: Believe or Perish.  You see, when I came to this fork on the road for my sins, I chose to believe.  Now I had to make the same choice with my friend's being.  

It all boiled down to this: Do I believe that God is good?  Do I believe that He is sovereign?  Do I believe that He is the author ​of life?  

Just like Peter, I arrived at the same conclusion:  Only You, Lord, have the words of eternal life.  To whom else can I go?  Who can I trust with the being of my friend?

There are only two options: My friend disintegrated into thin air when he breathed his last...or God, as the author of life and being the very essence of love, has him (because He loves him more than I ever could, because He created him).  I don't know what that looks like - but I know that there will be animals in heaven (Isaiah 11:6 and 65:25) and these creatures will speak in heaven (Revelation 5:13).  

So this is where the rubber met the road for this particular path:  Where do I turn to?  I have nowhere else to go but to God, for He alone is the author of life, He is love, and He is sovereign.  

Faith is...where the rubber meets the road; where there is something much greater and way beyond the pain we face today.  It takes time to reach this point...well, it took me some time to get here.

I pray we all choose life, hope, and love.

How many times have you found yourself down in the slumps and reached out to someone, a friend, for some encouragment, only to be met with words like: 'get over it, stop doubting and being in disbelief, and have faith'

Is being down and discouraged the same as not having faith?  

This is a question that I have been pondering on for quite some time now.  I cannot say that I have THE answer, but I have to say that the Lord has answered me regarding this question.  I received my answer after looking at two critical moments in the life of the Lord Jesus - that's where the Holy Spirit took me, and that's where He taught me.

The Garden
A garden is a place of life. A place of fruit.  A place of hope.  Yet, on the evening of the last Passover the Lord Jesus would have with His disciples,  the garden was filled with a great turmoil.  It witnessed a great struggle.  If felt the agony of each drop of sweat that poured out from Jesus.  Did Jesus need encouragement?  Yes.  Was He lacking faith?  No.  This was a moment where He was not on a mountain top, rather in a deep and dark valley.  Did the Father care?  Yes.  How do we know this?  He sent an angel to minister (read: encourage) His Son for the path that lay ahead: 'then an angel appeared to Him from heaven, strengthening Him." (Luke 22:43).

The angel came down to where Jesus was and strengthened Him because He needed strengthening.  He was not lacking faith, He was going thru the greatest struggle any soil has had to witness or ever will witness: the will of the Father and the will of the Son...not My will, but Yours be done (Luke 22:42).  Jesus needed encouragement for what lay ahead, because what lay ahead was a darker valley than the one He was on.  

The Cross
What type of view do you think Jesus had when He was hanging from the cross?  His eyes beheld: soldiers who scourged and spit on Him, fellow countrymen who mocked Him, rulers who seethed with hate towards Him, friends who had abandoned Him in His our of greatest need.  The very reason for which He was hanging on a tree, was the source of such pain, sorrow, and agony.  This was no mountain-top experience, this was the valley of the shadow of death - if not death itself.  And in His infinite mercy, the Father sends encouragement to Jesus.  How?  Thru a thief.  Heaven rejoices when ONE sinner repents ("there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance." Luke 15:7).  One sinner, a thief, repented in the midst of Jesus' valley experience...should this not have given encouragement to Jesus?  I say yes.  But don't take my word for it, take His: "Assuredly, I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise." (Luke 23:43).  

He received encouragement in the midst of His trial when He witnessed a fruit blossom before His very eyes - the very reason why He was being offered up.  Because without death, there is no remission of sins; without His death, the thief's sins would not have been blotted out.  The thief's repentance encouraged Him to endure the cross for the joy that was set before Him: that He would be with the thief in Paradise that very same day.

So is it wrong to need encouragement?  And is needing encouragement the same as being in disbelief?  No, and no.  We need encouragement...especially when we are walking in the valleys, when we are down, when we are discouraged.

Let us pray that when we are down and needing encouragement, we have brothers and sisters who will not throw darts at us, rather will come down to where we are and strengthen us, just like the angel did with the Lord in the Garden; let us pray that when we grow weary in the work of the Kingdom, that we witness fruit that will encourage us to look ahead to the Joy set in heaven, like the thief was to the Lord Jesus when He was on the Cross.  More importantly, let us pray that we be those friends who will encourage those who need encouragement and strengthen those who need strengthening.  And above all, let us ask for forgiveness for the many times we, I, have shot darts at friends who were discouraged instead of lifting them up and encouraging them.

I had always thought that we all received the same amount of talents; that the difference in yielded fruit was dependent on what each one of us did with those talents, whether we were good or bad stewards of these talents.  In fact, I had been struggling with feelings of inadequacy and failure for not having the same fruit as my other brothers and sisters were having.  My conclusion was that I wasn't doing enough, or not speaking enough, or not engaging enough, or not charismatic enough.  And though I would purpose in my mind to try to do or be those things, I felt like a hypocrite, like trying to be someone I wasn't.  But surely this was ok, because I was doing it in service of the Kingdom, right?

It was then that the Holy Spirit spoke to me.  He brought up this passage (Matthew 25:14-30) into my heart and started to explain and teach me (just like the Lord Jesus said He would before ascending to the Father).  "And to one he gave five (5) talents, to another two (2), and to another one (1), TO EACH ACCORDING TO HIS OWN ABILITY."

He taught me two important truths from this verse:
1. each servant received a different amount of talents; they did not all receive the same amount.
2. the amount was determined by the ability of each servant.

How could I expect to accomplish the tasks set out by someone who had five talents when I don't have the same number of talents?  How could I attempt to act like someone who had received five talents, when I did not possess the same abilities?  What I learned was that I ought not to act as if I possessed certain abilities, when in reality I did not.  I was created with specific and certain abilities, and my energies and thoughts ought to be focused on investing the talents given to me to the best of MY abilities, not the abilities of other brothers and sisters.  

When He opened my eyes to this and put it into perspective with my walk, it felt as if a thick, musty, and heavy fog had suddenly disappeared.  Now I could breath deeply.  Now the air wasn't stagnant.  Now I could see the lane in which I was to run my race.  And this makes all the difference.  Knowing what He expects of me and that He has created me with certain abilities that are specific to me.  I don't need to be like someone else, behave like someone else, in order to increase the yield of the talents given to me; I just need to be whom He created me to be, because He knows what He is doing.

What I need to pray, and will pray, is that the Lord help me clearly identify my abilities and the number of talents He has given to me so that I be a good steward of that which I possess.  And, importantly, to not look at the talents and abilities of fellow brothers and sisters as a benchmark because we were all created with different abilities and given a different number of talents; by design, we will not look the same because we are UNIQUE.

The lie of meeting or exceeding expectations set by others is so damaging to the soul.

But without love, I would not have been able to feel the pain that had numbed me.  Without love, I would not have been able to see the lie that had pierced me.  Without love, healing could not have commenced.  Now abide faith, hope, and love...but the greatest of these is LOVE (1 Cor 13:13).  

I have been tacitly told that in order to be loved, accepted, and worthy of encouragement in the family of God, I had to behave a certain way.  I had to be exceedingly outgoing, unreserved, hop like a kangaroo, have a marsupial pouch, cry on cue, be available 24/7, never be down or depressed, take loveless criticism as an honor and privilege, change or work on my 'deficiencies' when compared to other believers, accept to be treated as a 'second-tier' child of God for not behaving a certain way....and on, and on it goes.  Expectations I did not meet or did not exceed.  But then, God happened.

Spending over six weeks and a concentrated weekend serving others with a group of beautiful and loving ladies and gents, all who loved UNCONDITIONALLY, who did not expect me or others to hop like a kangaroo - rather, just expected for God to work in and thru me - was such a soothing balm to my hurting soul.  And I didn't even know I was hurting.  Notice, the expectation was not for me to do something, but for GOD to do the work (can you hear the sound of impossible burdens roll down and hit the floor...and shattering?).

It took LOVE to allow me to identify the lies that had settled deep down within my heart.  It took LOVE to allow me to feel the pain caused by the lies.  It took LOVE for me to let the tears roll down my face, and not feel guilty for it.

I don't have to be anything God has not created me to be.  I do not have to be anything God is not expecting of me.  The only thing I have to be is an empty vessel, that way He can fill me with Himself.  The only thing I have to do is obey Him, that way He can work in and thru me. 

Oh how sweet the taste of FREEDOM.  And how liberating the weight of TRUTH.    

Praise the Lord for creating a group of ladies and gents who reminded me what UNCONDITIONAL LOVE truly is!!

Again, LOVE truly is the greatest of the three.  Praise the Lord Jesus showed us what LOVE truly is, and for creating brethren who are vessels of His love for, not just the lost, but also for the followers of Jesus who are also hurting.

Praise the Lord for not expecting us to be something we are not.  Praise the Lord for giving us the easy yoke, the light burden: faithfulness, obedience.  We only need to obey Him, and Him alone.  Not others, or even ourselves - especially ourselves.

May His lovingkindness be perceived by your heart today!

This next song, Just Be by Lindsay Taylor, has been such a great ministering song, that I wanted to share it with you in hopes your eyes are reinforced to be fixed on Jesus - the Author and Finisher of our faith.

P.S.  I have no idea who Amanda Boutchía is; I just found this nice youtube video with the song set to a beautiful background.  So, just FYI.  :)

Are you striving to meet a certain expectation?  How does it make you feel when you can never exceed it, let alone meet it?

We are surrounded by a world that, manipulated by the enemy and our own sinful desires, bombards us with the message that we have to meet a certain expectation, fit into a certain mold.

And while detecting this lie might seem challenging when speaking of our physical appearance, it is an entirely different ballgame when we try to detect the lie as it pertains to our being.  What am I talking about?  I'm talking about our personalities, our walk with the Lord, our maturity and understanding of the Way, and the steps we take in following after Jesus.

I've been living in this lie for quite a while.  Here's the sad part: I didn't even know I believed those lies.

It has taken me years to actually detect the pain I was in, to acknowledge the pain (because even after detecting it, I still denied the pain in my soul), and to realize that those expectations are not right.  THEY ARE NOT RIGHT.

Oh, how painful it is to try to act like a kangaroo when I've been a dolphin all along!  How can I hop like a kangaroo and carry 'my young' ones with me, when I don't even have legs or a marsupial pouch?

But I realized that what pained me the most, what took me into numbness, was that these expectations were set by fellow believers. strong believers.

If we speak in tongues, angelic and human, and don't have love - we are nothing.  If we speak truth, and speak without love - it's like rubbing a towel of glass shards over raw skin.  If we speak lies, and and do so kindly - the piercings that are made will go so deep into a person's soul, it will settle down where truth was to abide.

In a loving way, I was told lies that settled down deep in my soul.  And while there is much pain associated with it, I thank the Lord that He has made me aware of this so that I don't do the same thing to others; but, most importantly, to ask for forgiveness of those to whom I have already wounded in similar fashion.  

I must be careful with what I say to other believers; I do not want to perpetuate a lie or introduce one to their souls.  How do I prevent this?  Hiding His word in my heart, being filled with the Spirit of Love, obeying His command to love others as myself.  All this so that I may be used as an instrument to build up the Church, not tear it down; to elevate my brethren, not weigh them down with impossible burdens; to Shine like the Son, not dim or overcast fellow believer's Light.

So what specific lies about my personality and walk with God am I referring to?   Part 2 will detail the darkness behind the lies.

Meantime, I pray the Lord allows us to detect the lie of 'having to meet or exceed' someone's expectations and moves us to healing, so that we may be able to minister to others who are still trying to reach the end of the race but are racing inside a hamster ball.

I want to be in control of everything and I believe that thinking about the current situation I find myself in and how to resolve it, will make me be in control.  What an ilusion.  It's chasing after the wind.  Like trying to hold on to vapour with my bare hands.

I had asked the Lord to search my heart and shine a light into it to reveal my intentions, desires, pride and arrogance that were blinding me to Him.  Once He would pull those out, I would be able to see and hear clearly.  All day I could not stop thinking about the situation, the characters, their intentions (and evil intentions), the forces, the grand scheme of things, the not-so grand scheme of things, the pig picture, the little picture, the invisible picture, the abscence of a picture...you get the pitcture. 

I worship 'my' career, my method of solving problems, the knowledge of what are the motives of other people's hearts (which I can't know at all), in summary: my will!  Me! I'm the center of my will.  Ugh! 

This doesn't solve my current situation but it does bring some release and relief in that this is much bigger than what my eyes are capable of seeing.  This is about Jesus bringing out of me that which is not of Him.  His submission to the Father is what He wants to engrave in my heart. 

Clearly, I am a wild horse.  The Lord seeks to channel that force in a positive and constructive way - and breaking my willful, prideful, and arrogance-filled desires and ways will yield a usable force. 

My situation is the same, but now I know what lurked in my heart that didn't allow me to visualize the situation with God's eyes: Idolatry. 

I believe my decision has to be based on this now: do I crush the idol or do I leave the idol intact and purpose myself not to idolize it?  Oh, and which one is the idol?

Just looking at the Old Testament shows me that there was a reason why the Lord instructed the children of Israel to destroy the idols found in their midst.  He did this sooo many times!  Why?  It's obvious that we are weak and cannot be in the presence of idols and expect to be 'strong' enough to not fall down and worship again.  But most certainly, I am weak.  I am very weak.  I know I will inevitably take my eyes off of Jesus and fix them on my idol.  Oh wretched woman that I am!  But thanks be to Christ Jesus who overcame my sin on the Cross.  And it is He who will preserve me blameless and keep me until the day of His return. 

So what now?  I don't know.  All I know is that I need to fall down and worship Him, and He will guide me step by step and give me the courage and bravery to carry out His will - however painful it may be for those around me and myself.

Are you in the same boat?  You may need to step out of the boat to see if you are suffering from the same disease...

Here's the second song the pierced my arrogant heart (I didn't put video together so you can go to youtube directly if you would like - just want to clear that up :)).  Clear the Stage by Jimmy Needham.

Wow - the good thing about being in the middle of a dark and foggy forest is that the Lord reveals the deepest and darkest desires of our hearts.  Such is the case with yours truly.

In the midst of this situation I am in, I found myself signing two songs over and over again.  'Clear the Stage' by Jimmy Needham and 'I will Bring you Home' by Michael Card.  One brought me comfort, the other pointed to my dark secret.

Feeling helpless, lost, and confused, the song that I kept singing was 'I will bring you home'.  I felt and re-discovered His comfort, the tenderness and comfort of my Father, my Abba.  This promise that He will bring me home and have me enter into His day of rest was like a gentle drizzle on my parched soul.  One day He would bring me home, where my only desire is to sit at Jesus' feet.  A day where I will finally be rid of this flesh, where unbelief takes a hold, fears paralyze, and torment tortures.

If you want to listen to the song, you can click here and it will take you to another window, or you can scroll to the bottom of the post. :)

Then, after Abba comforted me and held me in His arms, the song that I was led to sing was 'Clear the Stage'.  I found myself meditating on the bridge and realized that I had been thinking about my situation all week - non-stop!  In case you are not familiar with the bridge, it goes like this: Anything I put before my God is an idol; anything I want with all my heart is an idol; anything I CAN'T STOP THINKING OF IS AN IDOL; anything that I give all my love is an idol. 

Then, after speaking with a friend about motives of the heart (which the Lord sees) and good works (which men see), the song Malachi by Michael Card came to mind.  Again, it's about bringing offerings to God yet being far away from Him; singing unto the Lord, yet not worshipping Him. 

And just now - as in this evening at 9:30 pm - the Lord has revealed what is hidden in my heart: IDOLATRY.  Wow!  What an idol worshipper I am!

Here is the song 'I will bring you home' by Michael Card - the rest of this story is found in part 2.